No Other Love

I have to stop taking these long breaks, but things have been hectic, and for that I apologize.

Here's my rendition of John John and Estelle's "No Other Love"
In case you're not a fan of my version, the original is here for your entertainment.

I can't hardly sleep without thinking about you,
Don't wanna dream without seeing you,
Cause there's no other love, and no other touch I wanna feel....
Turn me on, turn me on, boy you already know the deal.

I thought I was too young, I'm singing a song I've never sung,
Can you satisfy my craving? I won't sleep til I know you're staying.
Gimme gimme oh so much, I'm holding onto you there's no rush.
Turn me on, turn me on, turn me on.

I'm not sure what you're made of,
Not even sure that you're reall,
But my head's got me convinced that my heart can really feel.
It feels all the emotions you cant seem to show,
and it aches for the love yours is capable to flow.
Turn me on, baby turn me on, cause there's no other love that I'm dreaming of.

No other love, no other touch, gimme gimme oh so much, turn me on, turn me on.

Get out of my head, lay with me instead. Hear my heart beat, just let me feel complete.

Hiatus

i've been MIA for a little while too long, but I'm back.... Three episodes of Grey's, a birthday and a wedding, and Little old me has Arrived!! Enjoy.



I'm wishing on a star....
Far Far away,
That someone will steal my heart and take all my sorrows away.
That he will piece the parts of my soul back together the right way.
That he will be my true counterpart, and he'll forever stay.

I'm wishing on a star....
That's glistening in the sky,
for a chance to make my claim, a chance to catch his eye.
for a love to last eternity, and make me feel like i can fly.
for a man to hold my hand, and simply kiss goodnight.

I'm wishing on a star....
Tonight and every other.
to bring someone true, the world's greatest lover.
Will I find him? I can only wonder......

Where you are.

American Boy..

I know I know, this song isn't new in any way at all but I absolutely love it!!! What girl doesn't want some hottie with a body to take them all over the world but more importantly someone to just kick it wit sometimes?

I haven't been on blogger in a while, (my apologies) but I'm here.. and I wanna put a lil spin on this song..

See I've come to realize I'd appreciate a certain Englishmen..
The Jude Law type that had a gush effect on Cameron,
Diaz that is, in The Holiday they play....
A widowed man of England, an independent from L.A.

Take me to L.A, just to see it.
When we're done, we can leave it.
Fly to London see the rain,
Maybe ride a super train,

We won't stay long, we got the world to see,
Take me far from here I wanna sail a new sea....

Greece to see the Gods and visit the sexy sands,
Let's watch the sunset, while we're holding hands.

How beautiful the sun is when we take the time to watch...
It's heat is extreme but the blue waters cool it a notch.

Take me to Japan I wanna see the busy streets,
that remind me of New York, the city none other beats.

We can see the world in 60 days and it'd be more than enough...
Because time spent with you is precious, a diamond in the rough.

The Stress Is over!

Sorry it's been so long!! but i truly have been going insane with the Econ class I had this summer (No Offense to the great Dr Rustici)....but I have said in the past that I'm running with time, and I just wanna say, last night I think we came in tied. (pics to come when I get the chance!)

TFAS has shown a great deal of myself to me,
And I've become more organized than I ever thought I could be.
I've run away from problems that weren't worth the fight,
I've accepted the hardships and placed attainable goals in sight.
A breakfast with the director has opened up a new window,
As we sat and chat about this summer and what we've all been through.
From the most moral to someone slightly off the walls,
I now know that journalism is the path on which my life falls.
To all my IPJers, I'm so proud of where we've come and what we've overcome,
And moreso I'm proud of all the hard work (with given deadlines) that have been done.
To My TFASers, (ie. the roomates that I love,) I'm glad to have spent time with you,
And I wish you the best of look in whatever you set out to do.

We've made it this far, commencement is upon us, smile, they'll all applaud us!

Disappointment from my dream Magazine.

The New Yorker magazine has for a while now been the magazine in my head where I would hold my own featured political column. Today, I did the usual...opened up CNN.com, went to the politics section, and there it was, a headline I never imagined...

"Obama campaign calls New Yorker cover offensive."

(click here for video commentary)

Here's a few words New Yorker:

Excuse me, New Yorker, forgive my blunt blow,
But have you lost your mind? You've gone overboard this time.

The Obama's on your cover give me an empty chill,
as your lack of cover lines and a description fail to fill.

Actions always have unintended consequences and repercussions,
All this cover does is warrant defensive and extensive future discussions.

Of a country stuck in the past, thinking they're promoting forward movement.
But to many Americans you will learn this cover is mere amusement.

Rumors have in the past stirred about Senator Obama and his wife,
Now your cover may make them real for those unfamiliar with his life.

Polls show voters believe Obama was sworn in on the Quran,
Something already proven false, the day he raised his right hand.

Others believe he really is a Muslim, another false accusation,
Like father not like son, Obama's got his own religious affiliation.

Your cover may be satirical, but now it's embedded in the minds of the hierarchal.

It's one thing to discuss stereotypes, labels, and rumors, but this cover just paints a picture.. a pretty ugly picture at that.

Jesse Jackson Causing Traction.

I'm here in DC struggling with sleep and I decided to do a little CNN catch-up.... I haven't been proactive in the news for the last 12 hours and I needed to know what's going on! And low and behold...the first headline I see... jackson apologizes for 'crude' Obama remarks.

(jesse jackson that is.)

We all make mistakes and sadly only one on air is all it really takes.

JJ said some words that were meant to be a whisper,
Now he's apologizing to the Next White House Mr.
Speaking for Fox....I'd say mistake number one..JJ let slip a statement that can't be undone.
It's a presidential campaign and we're making history, do us a favor JJ and put aside your misery.
Don't slip when the critic's got you in their grip.
Resist your usual criticism and fight the urge for cynicism.

Ever wonder why it so conveniently works out that the wrongs make airtime but the rights get no time?

I do....and I always wonder if politics will ever be new.
So I cross my fingers and hope Mr. Obama is true.
Because old politics threaten our freedom, and this means yours too.

Patriotism Rings Loud Now

There was a time when Americans white and black alike hated the direction of this nation,

Protests being held at many a courthouse and many a station,
Against rulings in the Sean Bell case, or even the Iraq War many say is a disgrace.
But 2008 brings us to a new day, where Patriotism is alive and it's fighting its way,
Into the heart's of all Americans who in the White House they wish Obama to stay.
No he's not there yet and the lack of a flag pin led the public to unfairly sway
In a direction against him but now approaches Independence Day.
Obama gives a speech in Independence days before this country's Independence,
And a man many hesitate to give fair play,
Is leading the polls in every possible way.
A few more months and he'll be there to stay,
But he's made a vow that rang truly loud today.
To never question anyone's patriotism in any way,
Obama respects all and his acceptance will provide his greatest pay.

Music is Politics

this oil painting is a beautiful creation of the artist, LeeVasu...check him out)

I woke up this morning feeling like I was forgetting something... And then I remembered my dream, (slightly).

I had a dream that I was the world's greatest performer
and I was singing about the Man and the failures of our former,
Yes Bush was no more and the Man was standing in the corner,
Admiring my vocals as I belted out in his honor...

"Mr. President I admire your strength and your courage
You came out on top and never could have been discouraged!"

My words came out like a freestyle, a spoken word art form,
And then the chorus interrupted and the crowd rumbled like a storm.

"Fail me not Mr. President, You have come with great precedence, I believe you'll reverse...the sins/bought on us in the past, but Neverrrr again..."

Then I woke with a teary blink..
Strange choice of lyrics, wouldn't you think?
Sing beautiful words I hope will sink in,
But I think I'm questioning the mentioned sin...

What was it? I'm not sure I'm convinced that my head I was in,
But when I opened my eyes I thought of it again...
Juneteenth came and went, do you know of that event?
Probably not, I believe it's something the prevented by our government...


Too bad though, half of us aren't interested enough to find out,
What a day so significant may have actually been about..
Happy Juneteenth I gracefully shout out...
Then I hit my pillow again and I'm out for the count...

TIME Magazine did a spread on Juneteenth, brush up on your African American history.
Oh and of course the less complex poetic form of this post can be found at thekonera.blogspot.com.

If I Have My Way

So I went searching for a song my friend* praised in her aim status and couldn't find it.. but I found this beautiful song that I sadly forgot about in my bitter state... but this is how I feel.... Underneath it all...

If I had my way...
I would've lied that day.
You know, the day I told you to stay?
"Stay with me baby I need you today."
Do you remember?

Probably not...
At this point in time I wasn't aware I got "got."
That was pretty good mr. big shot,
But guess what? I'm still hott.

Hotta than you will ever again know,
I'm rising to the top, and I'm poetry's greatest show.
You had to go, I know...
Life isn't fair, it's meant to blow.

But at the end of the day I'm still meant to love,
and no one's gonna stop me from stayin above.
I'm above you and all you're made of,
So far above I'm soarin next to a beautiful white dove.

Sadness burdens me but love is still within me...
And if I have my way, in love is what I'll soon be.

I'd rather a bullet

So I was talking to the good ol' twin a second ago and I was trying to describe this pain in my back that shoots down my right leg and I found myself saying:

"I'd seriously rather a bullet because at least then it could be removed!"

Talk about dramatic right?

SO, that being said, enjoy (p.s..these poems are all the creations of a vivid mind, take it how u like, im not crazy nor suicidal. I Promise.)

Shoot Me!
Rid me of this pain and agony,
Put me out of my unfortunate misery!
It's quick and easy trust me...
Just pull the trigger and put a bullet where I need it to be.
Pierce my heart and leave me not one negative emotional memory.
But please don't kill me.
You see,
A bullet to me is a shot worth taking temporarily.
Do you follow me? I'm not insane I'm just telling you that I'm ready.
Shoot me.
I'd seriously rather a bullet that a surgeon can see.
Than deal with this pain from which comes absolute uncertainty.

Where is the wound that is causing me to bleed?
Make it stop and shoot me with a miracle seed.
Maybe a pill to give me what I need?
Relief from devastation that which this pain has begun to feed.

Just shoot me.
It'll all be over shortly.

Back to Poetry

It's been a while since I blessed this page with some poetry, sorry my gracious people. But I'm back, no matter how busy things may be, I am back. (I hope I still got it!)

You spoke to me one day and you touched my soul.
It was something I never felt, like the filling of a hole.
You warmed me up after I'd forever been cold..
And my heart you managed to be granted permission to hold.

But now where are you?
Is there something I was supposed to do?
What's changed your presence, or should I ask who?
If I'd been holding my breath, I'd be way past blue.

Don't apologize, don't say anything at all.
It was my mistake to even begin to fall.
You vanished from my life, without even a call.
You must have had a blast, Tell me was it a ball?

Don't apologize, don't answer my questions.
I just have a couple of quick suggestions.
You know for your future plans of lethal injections.
Injections that in my experience have caused many infections.

Infections that spread throughout my blood and poisoned my heart,
Closed my mind to any type of stable start.
Your treachery is a great work of art.
I hope you cherish your achievement of tearing me apart.

But wait... I'm the poet...
Cliche it may be but maybe you just don't know it.
You've made me an artist and now I get to show it.
It being the greatness that came when you managed to blow it.

Stay absent, stay silent, stay a mystery.
Your not being here is adding to my perfect misery.
I missed the pen but I'm back making history.
As the woman who came out defeated, and claimed that was her greatest victory.

Still Hot

This is how hot it is in DC right now....


Yes, that is an ad outside of a make up shop promoting a give away of cold water...
DC is outta control and I love it.

DC Blaze

I've finally made it to DC, but it seems all the people I was expecting to see are either not in DC, or too far for my touristy self to wander off and find them... Smh.. Here is a list of what to expect if ever for any reason you'll be spending summertime in DC
: extreme heat and humidity starting from 9am and lasting until 4am (just round up and say 24 hours)
:random heat lightning storms and torrential down pours in one neighborhood but not the next
:AlphabetCity??? (Georgetown and downtown DC streets are letters, ie M,N,O,P...)
:(Georgetown specified), Steep Hills that would be great for skiing were there snow and maybe no ongoing traffic at the bottom of those hills on Wisconsin....
:Good eats, from American to Pizzeria's, and great shopping, (I walked by the Rugby store today)
:History and Monuments, beautiful estates and pretty old buildings.
:Mule-drawn boat rides?? Yes, I saw this today, no lie...
:And finally,.... I see ants everywhere!! NYC doesn't really see ants anymore, they've been replaced by other unfriendly's.
It's only day 2 so there is more to come, but I will leave you with this; I miss my City!!

Something Special

Usher's album is here people!!!

Let me start by apologizing for posting this days after the album dropped... but I am guilty of being extremely justifiably too busy to truly sit down and listen to all the tracks on Usher's latest. But can I just say that Usher had me at the Intro. I usually listen to the intro on an album for less than a minute, but I let it play out, because Usher's heart is bleeding hard on that track.... as I soon came to realize for the following 16 tracks. He managed to write a sexual song that becomes completely emotional!! Only USHER can get away with that.... but he's clearly hurting bad right now... or in his words, he's "got it bad." I've decided I'm not putting up the whole album because first of all, nobody is going to sit on my blog and play each track, take ya @ss and buy the album! Secondly, I'd much rather just share my favorite track from the album, so I listened to the whole thing through, felt rather indifferent to all the tracks combined. When I got to 7 I decided to skip 8 and go to 17 and work my way back... It wasn't until I got back to 8 that I found it.. My favorite track... my "Something Special".... enjoy a peek at Usher's beautiful poetry, he's not afraid to confess his love for a simplistic woman... Ladies we don't have to be couture at the supermarket ya know...

P.s. This could have easily been named Confessions: Part 3

So I realized I'm really bad at taking pictures so once I get to D.C. I'm going to work really hard on correcting that. in the meantime, lemme just give you a sample (stolen from an unknown source) of what I did this weekend... Traveling down to atlantic city on saturday to see the bad-ass bill maher stand up at the Borgata then speeding home at 2 am to NY arriving at 4:30 after putting 10 on my brother's hand at the black jack table (i got back 30..), seeing Sex and the City with the sisters and Mom in a random theatre in Great Neck alll the way in the front row..... Completely Worth it!!!!

I'm exhausted!

I'm Exhausted from the previous weekend, am I ready for memorial day weekend? I'm finally in New York but my buddies are M.I.A, so what am I gonna do? *Sighs, oh well. I'll figure something out. In the meantime, I'm spending money I don't have, unemployed in NYC, and having the time of my life, having Gelato, and seeing supposed to be history action-packed sci-fi films like Indie Jones and the Crystal Skull. (don't see it unless u like aliens in movies b.t.w.) So here's some words about exhaustion.

Exhaustion is an understatement in my eyes
But sleeping in late is an action I find wise.
Finished the column last night and watched 2 hours of greatness.
Miss Meredith Grey and me have a certain sameness.
We're disguised as bitter realists while deep down we're hopeless romantics,
and when we want to, we show emotion will burning candle wicks.
I cried a little bit I can't even lie,
but cheesy stuff always bring tears to my eyes.
I hope next season is phenomenal because greatness is overdue, until then,
stay tuned...

Grey's Anatomy

Day 1

So we make it to Hollywood but we can't head to Miami until Trish and Ernst, (sis and beau), make it to Hollywood.. We have 4 hours to kill, what the hell are we gonna do?? So mom let me drive the Jeep Laredo (had to snap a shot of me pushin an SUV with a USB Key?? I was excited. But wait, we had no idea where we were going, so onto US 1 we went.
Driving along US 1, we run into the cutest ever ice cream parlor!

Jaxon's was so old fashioned we got excited and pulled in. When we got inside, rows of old tables and antique chairs lined the dining room, but the walls were covered with license plates and keepsakes that were too much to photograph lol (sorry guys.) but the menu was great, Actually, too great.


Now I don't wanna load you up with photos but I have to show you the sundae we had, it was incredibly delectable. It was the perfect combination of pound cake, home made chocolate and vanilla ice cream, just the right amount of whipped cream and chocolate sauce, and 2 cherries on top, one for twinzie, and one for me! (sorry mom,) If in Fort Lauderdale catch a movie or a concert on Hollywood Blvd, then turn your asS around and head to US 1 and you'll find the best fantasy escape land on your left. You won't be disappointed.

5 Day Hiatus

So I just returned from my M.I.A. vacation and I would like to apologize for my absence the past few days. Would you believe me if I told you I was staying in a business hotel that didn't offer Complimentary Wifi? I was shocked and appalled, and rather Annoyed. So while I enjoyed my tanning time, I was shocked even further about 2 minutes ago when I pulled up my vaca. pictures and saw what I saw.. Time to hit the Gym TMel!!!! Yes, the pics will be very limited, on top of the fact that we only took about 15 pics.. for 5 days!! What kind of terrible shutterbug was I?? I'm disappointed in myself.. thoroughly.. But let me just say sorry again, for the past 5 days, and the next few posts that will be more than likely Miami based, with the negatives and rare positives of my trip.

A Dream

"I have a dream,"
But does anyone wanna hear it?
Doesn't really matter, I'm still gonna share it.
See I see this world as one day being perfected,
But as of today my people are still being neglected.
It's a shame we still deal with unjust trials and tribulations,
Then we must unify and rally against unfair regulations.

My dream you see places us all in the same room... Small on the outside, pretty large within.
And right at its door everyone's trying hard to get in.
Who do I see as I get closer to its center?
Of Course it's Obama, my one and only mentor.
I'm not a fanatic, nor naive of his politics,
But at least I can say there's no sugary sweetness in any of his politics.....

I'll stop here.. full story to come on a new sight.. I'll keep you all updated!

This is How it All Starts

It started with an acquittal...

It hurts me that justice is almost never served in the trial of a black man, no matter what Era of time we're living in. Politics have always been a reflection of the people in a society, and New York politics, including its judicial branch are ALL out of touch. Let me rephrase that, they're all Untouchable. What just man can acquit three murderers (regardless of the circumstance) without feelin some sort of guilt at night, it's all politics... Make the cops (your city men) look good and the dead (Sean Bell) look like a criminal... Same sh*t different day. How sad we can't get over this. I'm praying for Sean Bell's family, and hoping that my hometown, Good Ol Queens, never does me this dirty, no matter how I go.



And then Night took over day.

Frigid Friday...

About me and twinzie gettin picked up on Chestnut and 8th in this fine 300 stretch (as you see here to your left), and gettin dropped on 2nd and Market to walk back to Chestnut to the fabuloso Cebu??? how about spending money neither of us truly have, esp. on a 10$ bottle of STILL WATER?? It's crazy out there in Olde City, where they bring you bottled water without asking you if you want it, cause you just supposed to have it like that. Smh, we neva had it like that, but we fronted the whole night out, then got picked back up by the 300 stretch and dropped back to our car before we got a ticket :) Perfect timing... Then the night went to hell........

Obama's Waffle

Okay people... So for everyone who thinks I'M obsessed with politics esp. Barack Obama, let me turn the cameras onto the real fanatic:

POLITICAL WIRE: Obama’s $10k Waffle Breakfast Yanked from eBay

The uneaten portions from Obama’s waffle and sausage breakfast were taken from the Scranton, Pa. diner, “the Glider,” Monday morning by a Hillary Clinton supporter who later posted them for sale on the popular auctioning site. She had planned to give all proceeds to Clinton’s campaign.

Can we sayy....... Completely, utterly, disgracefully, disgustingly, confusingly, desperately, useless? Yes, we Can!

I wanna be a Star!
And when I shine, I want a house somewhere far.
Dreamin big has got some of us pretty far,
So I have only one wish, and that is to be a star!

When we're young we all dream of these glamorous lives we hope to be famous someday, and while some of us will make it big time, some of us don't choose paths that will lead us down that road. Not every major in college will make us famous, actually not many other than acting or vocal training will. But then you have your rare case of communications majors, trying to be either on tv, behind the camera, or in a magazine. The magazine chic is who I hope to be, but if it doesn't work out for me, I'll be someones star

I'm a star, Or I'll be a star,
But fame and and flashing lights are not all stars are.

*Focus

John Legend Spoke at The Legendary Blue Horizon yesterday,



Celebrities talkin politics now, but are we listening to their talk? Or are we too involved with the invisible shine around their face, the imaginary emblem of what they represent? I respect John Legend at the Blue Horizon, and I respect those that kept their focus. He was not here to promote himself, and those in attendance were not there to get an autograph, but moreso to hear the words of a known performer whose musical talent depicts his understanding of how the world (at least in America) works. He confessed to having written a song about a world that he believed existed here, but with this year he has reversed that view, and he performed a capella the song he recorded for his album instead of his original feelings. Unfortunately, I can't give u a sample of that track lol. But just think on this: can musical influence, such as the sounds of John Legend and Will.I.Am to name a few, affect the way we vote in November?

Happily Ever After

So I've been working on my novel this week, and while I'm extra far from the ending, I been struggling with whether or not I want it to be your typical "happily ever after" or should I make it T *Mel style, meaning not so happily ever after?

Couldn't we be happily ever after?
Is it that unlikely that you'll keep me full of laughter,
Or will our happiness die down not too soon after?
You know how I do, start thinkin bout the "what if" factor,

Can we make a deal now, that will last us eternity?
I been hurt in the pass, maybe not obvious to you but definitely internally.
I can give you my heart and it'll be yours eternally,
But I refuse to give you everything if you feel any uncertainty.

Give me the drama I need to make this a best seller, be it bitter or sweet,
And once that drama is uprooted, you must promise not to get cold feet.
Ruin my life if you see beauty in my bitter cynicism,
or make me the happiest person alive and I'll erase all my criticism.

Best Sellers do Exist with typical endings,
It just takes a certain level of rule bending.
Trust me, I'll make it work either way,
Just tell me which way to go, you have exactly one day.

And they lived....?

Political Ticker

Tick, tock, sounds the great big clock.
"The Real Super Tuesday's" coming, are you ready Barack?
You're taking hits all across the board!
But that's American politics, and if you weren't we'd be bored.
But don't worry, your nomination is secure,
It's the candidates they bash that hold the ultimate cure.
Has your campaign shaken the republicans so much,
that they result to using their ultimate failure in their favor?
So sad, I didn't know hate could ruin campaigns that bad.
Let's address this issue: you know, the one of change...
What say you on the events of today, what can you arrange?
Cause anything you may say will be better than 100 years from today.
We know it's not as simple as 123, that option will never set us free.
Now we got Mississippi, 61 to 37, And you shoot down "sidekick to 007,
Smart move, let the country know you set the groove...
You're winning the delegates but what of the super delegates?
It's home stretch now, Penn's raisin ya eye brow....
Philly's ya hub of supporters, but on the outskirts there's conformers,
But sit tight, We all know you got this is one, soon it'll be over and she will be done....
Road to Presidency 2008, Step out the way, and please, drop the hate.

Don't Hold Back

There's at least ONE moment in every normal person's life where the going gets too tough, and they just can't hack it anymore. Weeks and weeks of pent up frustration, a little depression here, a little anger there, but you hold it in in the hopes that sooner or later things will turn around, because they have to. That's just how the world should work, it spins. Ever use the expression your head is spinning? You're right on schedule. Your mind is just so ill that you're racing with the time of the Earth's rotation on its own axis, but at the same time you're messin with your mind's own personal access. "My head is spinning" because I have too much on my mind to deal with at one time, but if you just slow down, as someone once told me, you're life will no longer be in a world win. When you're feeling overwhelmed and unsure of whether its okay to cry, or scream, or laugh, or run, my solution is simple:
Don't hold anything in. Let it all go, and in the end you will win.
If you have to shed a thousand tears let them loose along with your fears.
Conquer all negativity that you see clouding your judgment and hindering who you could be.
Rant and rave any chance you get, so that when asked what was wrong you can say, "I forget."
Don't hold anything in. Let it all go, and in the end you will win.
Emotions aside, NEVER swallow your pride.
Wear it on your sleeve and unimaginable things you will achieve.
Maybe not right away but things will happen one day.
Don't hold anything in. Let it all go, and in the end you will win.
My last words of wisdom are simply these:
Live and love life to the fullest. Without the love, the life is useless.

I Love my Mom, She makes everything better.

Set Me Free

There’s something that really scares me.

There’s only one thing that I wanna be; free

See? I can’t close my eyes without seeing he.

He that destroyed me, made me a prisoner of me.

Captivity will never suit me, so tell me how to set myself free!

I never wanted this, you did everything but respected me.

And now I’m up here tryin’ hard not to scream,

But my heart is achin and persistence is in me.

Persistence is in me, but resistance is my key,

My key to be free, someday I will be. You’ll see.

Don’t touch me. Don’t look at me. Don’t even think about me.

Don’t dream of me, don’t smile at me. Don’t know me.

Forget me. Just this once, will you help me?

You weren’t there when help was in need.

So this last time just be rid of your inner bad seed.

I hate you, cause you had to “love me”

But I love you, don’t you see?

Just do me this favor, please.

Set me free.

"O"

So he thought I was joking when I said he earned himself some words full of hate... Well I wasn't.

O, how I hate the way you look at me,
As though you see something others don't see.
O, how I hate your smile and the twinkle in your eyes.
Why must you stare me down why O, why?
O, my god, I hate your flirty ways.
You say things to me that leave me in a daze.
O, I'm aching, aching for your touch.
But I'm aching so bad I hate you O, so much.
I hate that I can't say how much I really hate you,
Because we're pretty good friends and O, I love you!

I'm Having Nightmares Again.

So I'm reading this rather disturbing book for my intro to sociology class... The Painted Bird... and I find myself restless at night because the book is giving me nightmares! Now before you think I'm a little punk, the nightmares aren't your everyday kid fears coming to life.. they're some real life type dreams that are only nightmares because if they were to really be going on, we would ALL be terrified... So I'm sharing (you know, talk about your bad dreams to make them go away?) SO this is my disclaimer: I dream pretty weird, but this stuff is pretty deep.

America, the beautiful.

And she just got ugly. Reallll ugly.

You reach into your pocket, but where's all your money?

Plastic in your wallet is suddenly hard to find..

Now remember you're sleeping, this is only in your mind,

But the federal reserve slacking? They always on they grind!

Afraid to walk the streets because you just might get mugged,

It's like your favorite city to spend in had their registers unplugged...

Come on now, New York City deserted? Impossible..

No, not quite.. actually, very possibe..

Currently trying to avoid an eminent recession,

We have one last crisis for the Bush administration.

Go ahead, try to make it right,

Cause if you've been trying, I think you destroyed us over night.

I mean how bad is it that the whole world, and everyone in it, is taunting me in my dreams...

Time to turn over, (to get out of this seemingly bad dream)

But now I'm hearing my potential career wont find a place for me,

It's just not who I'm supposed to be.

But how can you even say that to me?

I'm a writer! This is where I NEED to be! See?

And I throw a story at my editor,

It's ok. but it could definitely be better.

so what should I do?

Newspapers are dying out anyway, and magazines are soon to follow,

SO take a deep breath, close your mouth and swallow,

The air of this room that wont be here tomorrow.

It's not the end be rid of your sorrow.

But know that your writing style, no one will want to borrow.

Oh hell no... Turning over

Loving a Stranger

I fell in love with a stranger, and as fate would have it, things got outta control. Maybe not all a coincidence, I find myself shaking my head as I think back on the past five months, what a train wreck. Falling in love with a stranger, how is that even possible you ask? Well, it's actually quite simple. See it all starts out with a simple short introduction, then your imagination will turn that introduction into an invitation to perform your best form of seduction. That first night became the first of many, of simple eloquent conversation deep in thought of an unknown penetration. A penetration so deep you feel it not only in your body, but its somehow in your heart. Now you're caught up wondering when you can feel all of that jubilation. Jubilation you believed wasn't really in the cards for you. So you push and push your feelings onto him, but he doesnt pull back, he simply feeds into them and manifests his own. Here's where things get messy. You're learning so much you feel you've known him your whole life, but something is causing a slight blurr. Things start to not really add up, but you ignore it, and blame the fogginess on insecurities and simply let it go. Five months later and your heart is falling off your sleeve, but his heart seems completely intact while yours constantly bleeds. How did you let yourself fall so deep? Simple, you just had your first encounter with the world's greatest manipulator. While I am deeply sorry for the danger you have found yourself in, the fact still remains, you are 50% at fault. So now starts your process of cleansing your body, completely. I'm talking about ridding yourself of the filth that you have let penetrate your body, and hopefully ridding yourself of the belief that there really was something more than just that deep penetration. Don't be afraid to admit it now, its already got the best of you, go on, say it, you thought it was... love. Now look at all that you have been through, and notice the majority of red in your life is bad things. how will you find your way out?