Monday, January 28, 2008

I'm Having Nightmares Again.

So I'm reading this rather disturbing book for my intro to sociology class... The Painted Bird... and I find myself restless at night because the book is giving me nightmares! Now before you think I'm a little punk, the nightmares aren't your everyday kid fears coming to life.. they're some real life type dreams that are only nightmares because if they were to really be going on, we would ALL be terrified... So I'm sharing (you know, talk about your bad dreams to make them go away?) SO this is my disclaimer: I dream pretty weird, but this stuff is pretty deep.

America, the beautiful.

And she just got ugly. Reallll ugly.

You reach into your pocket, but where's all your money?

Plastic in your wallet is suddenly hard to find..

Now remember you're sleeping, this is only in your mind,

But the federal reserve slacking? They always on they grind!

Afraid to walk the streets because you just might get mugged,

It's like your favorite city to spend in had their registers unplugged...

Come on now, New York City deserted? Impossible..

No, not quite.. actually, very possibe..

Currently trying to avoid an eminent recession,

We have one last crisis for the Bush administration.

Go ahead, try to make it right,

Cause if you've been trying, I think you destroyed us over night.

I mean how bad is it that the whole world, and everyone in it, is taunting me in my dreams...

Time to turn over, (to get out of this seemingly bad dream)

But now I'm hearing my potential career wont find a place for me,

It's just not who I'm supposed to be.

But how can you even say that to me?

I'm a writer! This is where I NEED to be! See?

And I throw a story at my editor,

It's ok. but it could definitely be better.

so what should I do?

Newspapers are dying out anyway, and magazines are soon to follow,

SO take a deep breath, close your mouth and swallow,

The air of this room that wont be here tomorrow.

It's not the end be rid of your sorrow.

But know that your writing style, no one will want to borrow.

Oh hell no... Turning over

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Loving a Stranger

I fell in love with a stranger, and as fate would have it, things got outta control. Maybe not all a coincidence, I find myself shaking my head as I think back on the past five months, what a train wreck. Falling in love with a stranger, how is that even possible you ask? Well, it's actually quite simple. See it all starts out with a simple short introduction, then your imagination will turn that introduction into an invitation to perform your best form of seduction. That first night became the first of many, of simple eloquent conversation deep in thought of an unknown penetration. A penetration so deep you feel it not only in your body, but its somehow in your heart. Now you're caught up wondering when you can feel all of that jubilation. Jubilation you believed wasn't really in the cards for you. So you push and push your feelings onto him, but he doesnt pull back, he simply feeds into them and manifests his own. Here's where things get messy. You're learning so much you feel you've known him your whole life, but something is causing a slight blurr. Things start to not really add up, but you ignore it, and blame the fogginess on insecurities and simply let it go. Five months later and your heart is falling off your sleeve, but his heart seems completely intact while yours constantly bleeds. How did you let yourself fall so deep? Simple, you just had your first encounter with the world's greatest manipulator. While I am deeply sorry for the danger you have found yourself in, the fact still remains, you are 50% at fault. So now starts your process of cleansing your body, completely. I'm talking about ridding yourself of the filth that you have let penetrate your body, and hopefully ridding yourself of the belief that there really was something more than just that deep penetration. Don't be afraid to admit it now, its already got the best of you, go on, say it, you thought it was... love. Now look at all that you have been through, and notice the majority of red in your life is bad things. how will you find your way out?