Disappearing Acts

So I drove home with best buddy Jarrett on Sunday.. and when we got to Queens he decided to blast Sasha Fierce (I think he wanted to make me think or something)... Disappear starts up.. and I'm really listening to the words.. I got a little worked up.. but then I realized.... Ignore the anxiety building in my throat and just write about it, because yes, there have been pretty unbearable disappearing acts in my recent past.

Disappear - Beyoncé

When I think about it,
I start to realize that I can't cry and there's a good reason why.
You see I can't be mad but only sad, that you're something to me I never really had.

I tried to reach you, and I feel like I could teach you...
Things you didn't know were real and emotions you didn't know you could feel.

But the more I think about it,
The closer I get to feeling like I might lose you, or abuse the idea of "you,"
So instead I let you disappear in the hopes that one day you'd reappear...
Meanwhile I'm deep in despair because my heart no one can even repair!

What do I know?
Just because I feel you doesn't mean either of us will know what to do...
We're too caught up to be two good friends who may not be so tomorrow,

You disappeared, I may disappear... But why not grab my hand and we can disappear?
Ignore the world outside of us, our bond holds based on unique trust.
I trust you, I'm not sure that I should but I see you. I see the you underneath "you."

So when I think about it, you are nearly here,
And I'll always be there....
So take your time, relax your mind and maybe sooner than later you will find,

That a disappearance now will only leave you further behind.