Back in my nook

So trips back home haven't been pleasure, but rather depressing, and I just returned from one of those depressing weekends. I know they say when a person passes it was their time, but it just seems so unfair to assume that. I spent my saturday morning fighting a long overdue cry, a battle which was lost to a consistent flow of slow quiet tears, no sobs (that draws attention) and I started thinkin about all the things that were making the day sad. And I realized, this particular day wouldnt have been that hard if it wasnt for the "I'm sorry for your losses,", and the "are you okays," and most especially, the hugs from family members you never knew you have that suggest the, "it's okay to cry, we're all just human." These three things are the ultimate tear triggers, even if you're not feeling any type of way about what is going on around you. So After i figured this out, I started thinkin... i must be a fucced up niece to be thinking all this out in my head while I should be grieving her departure!!! so I stopped... and the tears started flowing, the nose started running, at that point I coudnt tell if I was sick or not anymore. Now I'm back in Philly, tears absent for the past few hours... Guess I'm safe in my nook now.
T...Mel.