would you rather fly or be invisible?

Last night a creepy man in a bar asked me if I'd rather fly or be invisible.

To my own shock, I replied: Invisible.

Invisible because they're all looking at me. Invisible because they shouldn't see me like this. Invisible because I don't really want to talk. Just want to be able to sit in the corner under a dim lamp, and write. Laugh out loud at my own jokes, cry at the thoughts I scribble on my pages, make funny faces just because, I'm invisible.

Invisible because I don't like to be in crowds, I don't like to be gawked at by the one creep on the train, I don't want to be approached by the apparent grandpa at a lounge, and I don't want to ask what's wrong when someone else looks put out. Because I'm put out, and I don't want you to have to ask me either.

Invisible because my drama is my own, not yours, his, hers, or anyone else's. Invisible because nobody really cares anyway, and if they tell you they do, they're full of shit and trying to impress you. But it won't last long.

Invisible because it would be easier than trying to be myself. It would be easier than having to look at you looking at me look at you. Waiting. Invisible because sometimes all I want to do is be alone, yet still in the company of significant individuals.

Invisible because I want to be naked. Not have to worry about what I look like in the light, nor have to worry about what flaws are now exposed.

Invisible because it's the ultimate defense mechanism when already nobody sees you.

I chose invisible because invisibility, always protected me. And now that I'm out in the opened, I have no fortress. I am vulnerable. I am aware.

And now, so are you.