Kicking a Habit.

So I've reached the 2-week mark they say you need to truly kick a habit, and for some reason that was beyond easy, which means it wasn't really a habit. The true habit, that I'm one week done with, is eating me up inside because its that habit you never thought you'd be without, that habit you don't understand why you had to let go, and that habit that just makes you who you are, flaws and all. So I'm sitting in a dark silent room, no Imeem to guide my thoughts for this poem, and I'm tryin to kick this habit.

It's funny how people say what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger..
But what I think that means is you might hide your pain a little longer.
I'm not afraid anymore to acknowledge that my addiction to you,
is making my heart black and blue.

You were something almost a necessity for me, something I always knew would be good for me,
But now I'm at a point where the powers that be say I'm bad for he.
Really?
I'm not sure that its the real me, or us, that you see.
But big hearts and tough souls have withstood much more.
I doubt everyday that you've completely closed the door.
Am I wrong, for dreaming occasionally of a time when we'd soar?
Above the clouds and have everything we ever hoped for?
Or am I wrong, for dreaming that there is a we that's hoping for anything?
Because my minds grappling with the fact that the song "we" used to sing,
Is ending.
You're not really attached to the lyrics like I am,
you don't really hear the melody like I can,
But can I blame you? NO I can't.
It was a malignancy masked by a brilliancy that I wanted to be meant to be.
But do you see me? Probably not,
My face and smile are warm enough to be easily forgot.. in
the sense that they're not full of concern and worry so you easily let it go,
thinking my melancholy state of being was real, not just for show.
It's okay though, no one ever said kickin deep rooted habits was easy.
I just wish I had the chance to say goodbye and walk peacefully.
Never leave in rage because your mind takes over your hearts gauge.
And when you realize what you've done, you've reached the unforgivable age... Of too late.